October 5, 2022
Extras Living with Disease and Disability

A Ventilated patient’s State of Mind ” Illusion and Sedation”

  • September 19, 2014
  • 2 min read
A Ventilated patient’s State of Mind ” Illusion and Sedation”

A patient on Mechanical ventilator struggling for life, dreams of the lands beyond the bound of the restriction of life. Was it his travel and back from the body? Was is the morphine effect?


Laying down on the cool green grass, eyes fixed at the sky, stars fixed at my eyes.. as I stare.. until eyes blink spontaneously. Those stars I hear, aren’t there alive, are dead and black dust whirls ages back. Unreal are the stars, that shimmer every night without a presence, unreal is that sky..

Fresh breeze of the night, fill my lungs up… and I enjoy every ounce of this pure air, and puff it out breathing deep, steady and calm.. mist of air ascend upon the sky, as if to obscure those defying grandeur.. but disappear into the thin air..  Sky pull up the blanket of Cloud,curling up a quilt in a cold night.. Elegant clouds dim down the moon… Piano tunes.. soothing my inner soles and ticking my bones…

Back in the bed, Doctors call my eyes, vacant, the deep and pure breaths are pumped into me.. through tubes and machines.. the moon isn’t that far, just a ceiling deep , hung recklessly from the bland ceiling.. the unreal stars are more than unreal.. they aren’t even there to be real.. the white paint of the ceiling is no near the beauty of the cotton clouds…  unreal piano starts to Alarm and Beep..  The boundless horizon I was laid to sleep, is unreal, instead is a chamber of glass to keep nature from trespassing into me… Realizing it, my mind is tensed and I start to seize…

Doctor screams “Push the dose…”, and there it is, that star.. its brighter than ever.. of the moon seems to be back, the night has curled up from the cloud.. another deep breath…. and puffing out.. tunes of piano seem louder each beat…

– By Dr Sujit Shrestha

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